crushkilldestroy (redelephant) wrote,
crushkilldestroy
redelephant

there was this thing about her. this innocence. some sort of intangible feeling that she could do no wrong.
that she'd bring out the best in me.
if i could only just have her for myself, she'd make me feel whole again.
like i had to rely on her to make me feel like my own man, as contradicting as that may sound, it makes perfect sense to me.
this was a different day, and a different me.
this girl isn't anyone i'm interested in anymore.
i look at pictures of her then, though i shouldn't.
and i see someone that no longer exists.
someone i thought i had and never really did.
and now that she's dead and gone, i need something to fill that void.
maybe someone, maybe something.
someone to sleep next to would be a nice start.
living in a house full of people and feeling alone is a weird feeling.
i don't leave my room.
i sit alone and read.
i listen to music
and i think.
about nothing in particular.
She was Jesus to me.

i need someone to pull me out of this dark seemingly bottomless pit of monotony
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