October 26th, 2000

for Chad

[9:12] FTB> i think the hands down gayest sex0r moment i've had was well listening to ziggy stardust....that's pretty much the height of gay
swingset> Fucking to a Bowie song? Man, that's pretty fucking gay.
[9:30] FTB> the whole album
[9:31] FTB> i know a guy that has david bowie tattooed on his fucking inner thigh
[9:31] FTB> THAT is gay
swingset> didn't Bauhaus cover the SONG Ziggy Stardust?
[9:35] FTB> they did indeed
[9:35] FTB> i shall download it now

Cecil B Davenport's TALK TRIGGERS!

Today's teens may be "hep", but they still need someone to talk about their troubling behavior and wrong-headed illogical notions. Here a few terrific "talk triggers" guaranteed to keep the conversation flowing for ours!

1. Are homosexuals merely confused, or are they abominations in the eyes of God? Explain why they're abominations.

2. Give me the names of your friends who "do drugs". Now give me their parents' numbers.

3. If you had to have sexual relations with one member of the family, who would it be?

4. If a man offered to "toss your salad", would you accept? Why or why not?

5. List three accidents that could have caused those bruises on your arm.

6. List five things you can do to make sure I don't hit you with my belt.

7. Why is God disgusted when you masturbate?

8. What's the strangest place you've ever made whoopee?

9. MC Hammer is "radical". Explain why you agree.

10. Why is cooking a woman's art?
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