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Wednesday, October 17th, 2001
12:31a - Don't Try Suicide
I'm scared to leave the house
I'm scared to go to sleep
And when I do
I wake up feeling scared

My girlfriend cuddles me
and holds me when I cry
I tell her that I'm scared
ask if she thinks I'll die
She tells me I'm ok
I don't believe her
But it makes me feel better anyway

Can't get myself to eat
trick myself and watch TV
Even when it works
I wake up puking scared

My girlfriend cuddles me
and holds me when I cry
I tell her that I'm scared
She says that I won't die
She tells me I'm ok
I don't believe her
But it makes me feel better anyway

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12:36a - take one step back, it's one step forward, give me your word, I'll go steady with you...
I thought getting laid would help me get over Cara...
Low and behold, it did!
Well, I was already over her, but it made me stop thinking about her so much.
But now I have feelings for someone else I can't have because they live too far away.

Oops!


current mood: Great Yet Horrible

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4:02p - Sex is great, it's fun as shit, don't worry jesus is dead and god don't exist...
I'm starting to see the big picture.
And it isn't always picture perfect.

Maybe the answer isn't trying to find someone that makes you happy, but just making yourself happy.
I wonder if I can ignore the fact that I'm a hopeless romantic (ie. a clingy scary pathetic loser) long enough to just make myself happy for once.

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