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Sunday, December 15th, 2002
8:12p - went to bed, but i'm not ready, baby i've been fucked already....
Mandy is taking the bus here. Thank God I don't have to drive all the way to Eugene alone.

I have no idea how I am going to deal with my uh, "situation".

I didn't say anything to her I didn't mean.

But she's Mandy. And she will always be associated with the term "Mandy's Little Problem".

Plus, again.. the distance. Plus, again...it's Mandy. The butt of all my friends and mine's jokes. I just never meant them. Or did I? There's nothing wrong with being a "loose" woman.

Confusion sets in.

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I'll never understand homophobia.

Why the fuck does my atheist dad think homosexuality is "wrong"?

I'm not a fag or anything. I don't crave cock.

Not all gays want to rape your children, dad. Not all gays are horrible people. Fuck you.

I hate this argument. Love who you want to. Fuck who you want to. My dad seems to think that the fact that I have no problem with fags and dykes mean I am one. I'm not. But I don't think it's wrong to fall in love with a member of the same sex. If I ever fell in love with a man, I'd spend the rest of my life with him. It won't happen, but what's wrong if it did? Would he rather me spend my whole life with a wife and kids and live a lie until I finally ate my gun?

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