Conan included but especially Leno.
1. Leno: You fuck, you kiss the ass of every guest you have on the show. You suck. And I have to look at your face on my TV Guide all the time.
2. Letterman: Gap teeth in your mouth so my dick's got to fit. (No wise crack about ex-girlfriends of mine please)
3. Conan: EAT SHIT COCKSUCKER, YOU WERE FUNNY FOR FIVE MINUTES! "LOOK I MADE A JOKE, NO ONE LAUGHED! I MAKE A WISECRACK ABOUT HOW MY LAST JOKE WASN'T FUNNY, THE CROWD GOES WILD!" "EVERYONE HATES MY SHOW, NO ONE WATCHES IT!" Those jokes used to be funny come up with new material or I will force feed you my dick. Or something else equally unappealing.
4. Kilborne, you're ok.