"Spread your balls/penis".
"Bend over, spread and cough".
So, I really fucked up. I really, really fucked up. And I hate myself. I really fucking hate myself. I don't know what I am going to do. I fucked up something that looked promosing. Something that may have made me happy again.
I can't even look at myself in the mirror anymore. And by the way, I wasn't drunk when all this happened, I was angry. I was treated very badly by someone, and I over-reacted. I tried to leave, but I had nowhere to do. so I kicked the door, and it popped open.
I fucking suck. Now I have this "Domestic Violence" thing hanging over me, when I never layed a hand on anyone. I just fucked up. The rest of my life is going to be a living hell now.
I can't seem to stop crying.
I am so sorry.
I fucked up.
Forgive me someday.