crushkilldestroy (redelephant) wrote,

I had the weirdest fucking dream I've ever had last night. It involved Carrie, Cara, homosexuality and tennis. The fuck?

Also, why is Murphey Lee on my television? He is possibly the ugliest person I've ever seen. I'm fairly certain he's holding the wall. Fuck ya'all.

And why is punk rock lesbianism so fucking cool it's now on commercials for mops now? I should suck dick for scene cred, and then be really let down when I'm spit on at the Dashboard Confessional show and called a "fag".

Vagina Versus Jimmy Eat World would be a great band name. Also "Lil John and the East Side Boys featuring the Ying Yang Twins and the Wall" would be too.

I'm so pimp it's ridiculous.

And why is mainstream hip hop so full of semen-talk? Do macho heterosexual men really sit around and talk about their ejaculate? If one of my friends mentioned busting his nut in some girl's mouth, I'd probably never talk to him again.

I got the job I "auditioned" for today.

P.s. Don't EVER hold the wall. Or the window. For if you do, you will become a mother fucker.

P.s.s. (Post Script Script?) I just realized in the background of this song Jay Z is yelling "Young! Cash! Bitch! Holla!". He's right. He is the best MC ever. And he should retire. Well, at least he should retire if he wants to stop making an ass out of himself. Unless he's trying to be ironic and silly, then I guess it's kind of funny.

And also, that show with Paris Hilton and Lionel Ritchie Jr IS in fact rad. Solely because I don't understand how being civilized and NOT being white trash is, uh, shameful. So Paris was caught on film with a mouth full of dick? It happens to the best of us. I'm fairly certain that Lionel Ritchie is a mouth full of dicks. His daughter is just fat. And white for some reason...Wasn't Lionel Ritchie African American? Regardless of her fatness, I'd fuck her. But I'd most likely fuck Lionel Ritchie, too.


And why does the market they shop at look like the Red Apple by my old apartment?

So they're mentioning having a threesome with the white trash kid. I don't understand the appeal of fucking two chicks at the same time. Unless you unexpectedly grow a second penis.

"Anal Salty Weiner Burgers".

I'll just leave things at that.
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