crushkilldestroy (redelephant) wrote,
crushkilldestroy
redelephant

I'm back at the bad place I've been at before with my stomach.

It's not good. It's because of my drinking, I know.

Despite what people may assume, I haven't been drunk.

My stomach has gone to shit again.

Drinking is the immediate fix for this problem.

My liver, my kidneys, my stomach.

Maybe my heart, too.

I've been diagnosed with so many problems yet people wonder why I hate doctors.

I don't hate doctors, I just already know about all my problems.

Depression?

Diagnosed!

Alcoholism?

Diagnosed!

Liver damage?

Diagnosed!

Heart problem?

Diagnosed!

Kidney failure?

Diagnosed!

Maybe I shouldn't expect my girlfriend to act as a nurse and a shrink.

I love her, I'm just a horrible person.

I just can't feel sorry for myself, I just can't. This is MY problem.

This is MY condition.

I'm sick and fucking tired of blaming other people and asking other people to help me.

Yes, alcoholism is a disease.

Yes, some people find God and fix themselves.

These people are idiots.

I have a mental and physical illness. I'd sooner trust professionals other than the leagues of other deadbeats.
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